Blindfold Fill! NC-17 | Watch Closely | J2

[dugindeep]

I'd kept forgetting I had this!

Title: Watch Closely
Words: 4,200
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Jared always watches Jensen, it's hard not to being college roommates. He didn't realize Jensen wants to watch right back.
Notes: Written for Round 4 of blindfold_spn for the prompt: Jared/Jensen, masturbation, voyeurism: Either in-person or via webcam; Jensen really wants to watch Jared get himself off and make him describe what it feels like. Bonus points if Jensen comes untouched.
Originally posted here



Jared considers it a mistake to drink with Jensen, but he’s too far into the bottle to go back. He convinces himself it’s not so bad; they’re with friends and he can focus on any other mouth talking; he can ignore his roommate and pretend that they’re not all breaking the law with the camaraderie of underage friends in off-campus housing.

It’s college. He knows he’s supposed to be drunk at 18, knows he’s supposed to attend parties by the floor-full, knows he’s suppose to make poor decisions in exchange for life lessons.

There’s despicably bad dancing going on and Jared can’t even bother thinking about it. He laughs at Jensen being even more pathetic than he is himself. He chuckles to Jensen’s wide-eyed fear when a girl who’s likely to drop from alcohol poisoning at any moment grinds all over Jensen’s thigh. He starts to hear that tiny voice whisper in his ear that always rises at times like these. Even when Jensen’s so notably uninterested in some ratty chick attaching herself to him, Jared’s green-eyed monster flares up and he can’t ignore how little he wants to watch this anymore.

His head spins; he blames the alcohol and the packed crowd in some generic townhouse that some friends of Jensen are renting. He blames the late hour and the fact that he hardly ate anything for dinner, so unimpressed with the dining hall’s weekend fare.

Jared staggers out the front door, ambles safely down the front steps, and inhales giant gulps of fresh air to calm him.

He feels sweat dampen his hairline and the back of his shirt, but everything cools down with the midnight breeze. Okay, he feels better, he can breathe, he can think, he can look clearly across the parking lot and see some frat guy push his date up against the car, grinding and licking across her ear.

Jesus, this isn’t helping.

“Hey punk!” he hears behind him, and he doesn’t bother turning.

He can imagine Jensen stumbling towards him with the sounds of his Cons scraping on the pavement when he nears Jared. Jensen tugs at Jared’s elbow to spin him closer then wraps his arm around Jared’s neck as he forces them to walk forward.

“You were gonna leave without me? That’s major bull shit.”

There’s a smirk to Jensen’s tone, slowly growing on his face, and Jared flicks his foot behind him to kick Jensen in the ass, and laughs when Jensen stumbles. They both stumble, really, but Jared laughs all on his own until Jensen’s back upright and playfully shoving Jared forward, on homeward.

Jensen rambles on about stupid shit their friends were doing, things Jared had missed because he’d been too focused on watching Jensen watch it all go down - Mike and the worm across the beer-soaked kitchen floor, Chris backflipping off the back balcony, Steve tripping down a hallway and landing right on his guitar, cracking the neck in half.

Jared only listens peripherally, though he watches with two intent eyes, locked into the way Jensen’s lips form the words. How sweat builds at his temples the more they walk; a mile off campus can’t compete with the slight chill; they’re still drunk and marching along at a quick pace, too drunk to care and only wanting to get home to obliterate every bag of chips in their dorm room.

With his mind drifting, he loses balance, and Jensen does, too. When they clank together, Jared’s mouth knocks Jensen’s temple. Teeth to bone hurts like hell, but when Jared licks his lip, he can taste the salt right off Jensen’s body. He releases a tiny groan at it, and the way Jensen snaps to attention makes him think Jensen knows exactly what just happened, even when Jensen’s covering half his head with a broad palm because his forehead now has Jared’s mouth indented in it.

“You okay?” Jared mumbles as he shifts away, hand lightly cupping the back of Jensen’s head and pretending he’d do that any other day of the week.

Jensen nods into it then laughs and pushes at Jared, only to wrap fingers into back of Jared’s tee and reel him back in. “You so fucking hungry, you gonna eat me?” He keeps his hand there, pulls down on the cloth, and uses it to keep his balance as they take the last block or so. “I gotta worry about cannibalism, is that it?”

“Exactly that, you drunk fuck,” Jared returns with grin. “Maybe sprinkle you in pepper and hot sauce.”

“Oh, hot sauce,” Jensen whimpers with his head tipping back. “I want wings. Let’s order a shitload of wings.”

“Nothing’s open this late.”

“How late?”

“Too late,” Jared insists, just because he doesn’t want to wait for delivery and can’t imagine them walking any more than they already have.

He’s thankful to see their four-story dorm appear behind a mass of trees and he drags Jensen the rest of the way inside and up what feels like endless flights of stairs until they reach their floor. As Jared works his key into the lock, fumbling with the vodka haze covering him, Jensen bumps into his back, presses his temple into Jared’s back, and sighs long and heavy, hot breath spreading over Jared’s shirt and making him shiver.

Jensen holds Jared’s hips as he shifts upright, presses his mouth into that exact spot he’d just exhaled onto. “Now, see,” he says lightly, playfully, so put-upon that Jared wants to laugh at him without even knowing the punchline. “In lesser hands, this door would take only twenty minutes.”

Jared does laugh, lightly elbowing at Jensen as he finally gets the key in. “How would you get in without me, dirtbag?”

He reaches beyond Jared and twists the key without trouble, nudging the door open a crack before he kicks it wide and pushes Jared inside. When Jared’s upright, he’s chuckling but he shuts his mouth quickly. Because Jensen’s staring at him, chest rising high with each breath, and Jared instantly feels something crackle in the air, feels the walls of their little nine-by-thirteen-foot box squeezing in on him.

Quietly, so low that Jared thinks he dreams it, Jensen asks, “How drunk are you?”

“Why?” Jared asks back with a small shake of his head.

“Because I was wondering something and I want an honest answer.”

His stomach burns but he steadies his voice as much as he can. “Alright. Shoot.”

“I was wondering why’re you always watching me?”

His brain stutters at any good response, and he’s thankful they haven’t turned a lamp on yet. With just slivers of moonlight coming through the window, he can see shadows slant over Jensen’s curious face, and he’s thankful that Jensen won’t see much more on his own. He finally says, “Because you’re always talking.”

Jensen chuckles then releases a tiny huff as he drops into the middle of his extra-long twin bed, just three feet from Jared’s. Jensen looks up and they share a long look, almost too long; it gets uncomfortable, and Jared’s mouth goes dry, and he can’t move from his place, so scared to disrupt anything. “Sit down, Jay,” Jensen suggests softly.

He wipes at his nose like it’s no thing, like he was going to sit any second now, and he does. He settles himself in the middle of his own bed and ignores the way his legs fall on either side of one of Jensen’s. He hadn’t meant to, never really does, but it happens sometimes; he’s noticed it lately. “You feeling okay?” Jared asks flatly, doing his best to not let his own nerves out.

Rubbing palms down his thighs, Jensen stretches his legs out and pushes his back into the padded cabinet that serves as a back to a modified couch with his mattress pushed in tight to the wall. “I’m feeling fine. You feeling fine?”

“You hungry?” Jared asks as he sits up and leans towards the basket of food at the edge of his desk.

Jensen’s knee comes up to stop Jared from going far, and he props his foot up on the mattress just beside Jared’s thigh. “I’m good.”

“Good,” Jared replies dumbly. He presses his fingers into his thighs, rubbing out to his knees and squeezing.

“Jay.”

It’s said at the lowest decibel level Jared can imagine while still being heard, and his head slowly tips up so he can look at Jensen. Can see Jensen’s intense stare as Jensen licks at his top lip then sucks it into his mouth.

“Why’re you always watching me?” Jensen asks slowly.

It’s not accusatory; more curious but Jared can’t help but drag in a long breath at the question. “I’m … I’m not. Why would you say that?”

The way Jensen’s head tips tells Jared he can read the lie. Jensen starts to lightly chew at the corner of his mouth, flicking his bottom lip out before grabbing it again. “I watch you, too, sometimes,” he admits quietly. “That’s how I know you’re watching me.”

Jared pushes his hands into the mattress to sit upright. He wants to squeeze his knees together to stop the warmth that brews in his thighs, that slinks up higher. But he can’t with Jensen’s other leg still resting between his own. “I don’t - I think you’re drunk,” he chuckles in the end. “I know your drunk.”

Jensen lowers himself a few inches, his foot going further onto Jared’s mattress so that when he rolls his ankle, his shoe taps Jared’s hip. Then he does it again and keeps the pressure right there.

Jared swallows hard, wants to shift away, wants to shift into it, just to get more of an intent-fueled touch from Jensen, something he’s been dreaming and imagining and pretending to have for months. Since they were paired together in this tiny dorm room. As his mind replays all the various scenes he’s created over the course of their being roommates, he feels his dick stir. He tugs at the inside of his pantleg, denim rough in his hand as he shifts.

Jensen’s eyes drop to the motion but don’t move when Jared moves his hand away. Jared can see the lump roll in Jensen’s throat as he swallows audibly. “I like watching you,” Jensen murmurs. “You never know when I do, do you?” His eyes slowly work their way up Jared’s chest, settling for a few moments at his throat, and finally to Jared’s hesitant gaze. Jensen tucks his foot tight to Jared’s hip and he shakes his head with a fond smile. “You look really good fresh from the shower.”

Jared gulps and yanks on the knee of his jeans, kicks his hips out on reflex as he tries to sit comfortably. It doesn’t work. Because no matter how much this whole exchange is turning him on, he can’t imagine adding to the conversation; he’s too afraid to trip the whole moment.

Suddenly, Jensen sits up, foot dragging off the mattress and smacking the ground, and he leans forward with his elbows on his legs. The movement forces his own tattered jeans tight to his thighs and Jared can’t stop a long lick at his bottom lip. Can’t stop staring at the bulge in the v of Jensen’s legs.

“Jay,” Jensen says kindly, leaning his head forward and to the right.

The low hitch of his voice makes Jared breathless and lightheaded, and his dick pounds in his jeans. God, he wants to fucking run to the bathroom and beat this thing out in privacy. He’s terrified of growing any harder; he can feel his cheeks burn with the potential embarrassment.

“Jared, c’mon,” Jensen chuckles warmly. “You can talk. Let’s talk about this,” he suggests. “I like looking at you. You like looking at me. Let’s look at each other without being so damned weird about it.”

“Like what?” he asks rather calmly, unsure where he gets the strength from.

Jensen tucks his feet against Jared’s and he reaches forward to cup Jared’s knee. His fingers tuck under the joint and rub slowly back and forth. Jensen swallows once, twice, both too loud in the short space between them. “Will you touch yourself?”

He’s seconds from asking if Jensen’s serious, but the slow path Jensen’s fingers creep on the underside of his thigh makes blood pound into his groin and he can’t ignore it anymore. Jared rubs his palm over the middle seam of his pants, heel pushing down on his dick, and it feels glorious to press into it, to give more heat to his erection.

“Yeah, good,” Jensen whispers with a smile. His eyes are tight to the movement and his fingers squeeze lightly on Jared’s leg. “How’s it feel? Tell me how it feels?”

He huffs out a nervous laugh then clears his throat and his hand slowly crawls up and down his dick. “You know how it feels to jerk off.”

Jensen’s eyes flick up Jared’s face. “Tell me how it feels for you. Talk about it. I wanna know how you feel when you come.”

Jared’s chest rises with a deep breath and he pushes his hand down harder and curls his fingers around the heavy line in his pants. “You’re not kidding, right? Not fucking around all drunk on me?”

With another warm squeeze around his thigh, Jensen shakes his head and smiles lightly. He nudges Jared’s knee to the side to stretch his legs wider. “I wouldn’t fuck around like this. I wanna know how good your hand feels on you. How you feel when you touch yourself.”

He takes a deep breath and rubs himself again, eyelids slipping low with the sensation. “It feels rough right now … from my jeans, but I like it like this sometimes,” he finishes with a quick look to Jensen just a few feet away.

Jensen’s mouth tips up and his eyes flip between Jared’s hand still working over his covered dick and his mouth that’s making Jared feel like a virgin who’s never touched himself before. “You can keep going. I wanna hear more.”

“I, uh, I wanna rub harder. Wanna feel how tight my jeans get.”

“Do you like getting off like this?”

Jared clenches his eyes shut with how excited and insistent Jensen sounds. “Yeah. I had a boyfriend last year, used to purposely fuck around with our clothes on. We liked how … difficult it was to get at each other but how rough it felt.”

“That’s so hot, Jared” Jensen sighs happily. “You have any idea how hot you are?”

He shakes his head lightly and licks his top lip as he hips start to roll up into his hand. He can’t stop the motion now. He wants to keep going because denying himself would be more torture than anything Jensen could mock him for in the morning. “No, not really. Not at all. But I know how gorgeous you are,” he rambles on with his eyes slipping shut, unable to face Jensen’s response to admitting that.

“We can be gorgeous together,” Jensen says with a gentle smile. He runs his fingers over the top of Jared’s leg. They doesn’t quite reach Jared’s own hand still grinding down in his lap, but Jensen’s hand is teasingly close as it runs back down to his knee and then up again. Jensen keeps his hand on the same slow, gentle path. “Are you gonna come like this? Or do you have to touch yourself?”

“I don’t have to, but I will. If you want me to.”

Jared’s eyes fly open at his admission but Jensen just gazes back at him, eyebrows turned down and eyes soft in return. “I’d love that. Yeah. Do that.”

Slowly and with shaking fingers, Jared tugs his belt open, pops the button on his jeans, and drags the zipper down. Every motion of the soft rub of his hand inside his pants echoes too loudly and shocks him into stillness. But then he hears the soft whoosh of Jensen’s shallow breathing, eyes growing dark as they’re stuck on Jared’s hand inside his pants. Jared doesn’t ever want Jensen to stop looking so tense and on edge with want, and he can’t imagine stopping what he’s doing.

Jared lifts his hips and pushes at one side of his jeans as he pulls his dick out, warm flesh wrapped tight. He squeezes at the head, thumbs over the ridge of it, and shifts his knees out with the feeling.

“What’re you thinking?” Jensen asks quietly but quickly as he wraps his palm around the meat of Jared’s thigh, squeezing in time with the rhythm of Jared’s hand.

He tugs again, running his fist just a few inches up and down. “It tingles. Feels real hot and heavy in my hand.” He looks up to Jensen and waits for Jensen to meet his eyes. “What are you thinking about?”

“How big you are,” he smirks back. “It doesn’t even look that big in your hands. But you’re kinda giant. Now I know you’re huge everywhere.”

Jared laughs to himself, breathing out hard. He starts to run his hand up and down at an easy pace, wrist twisting and fingers gripping tight on the way down. “I used to be embarrassed that it was big. In high school, my gym shorts looked awful, all the girls stared,” he admits nervously, scared of what to say that’ll excite Jensen.

Jensen tightens his hands around Jared’s leg. “God, I would’ve loved to see you in tight shorts.”

He sighs shakily as he feels his nerves tingle in his calves, walking up and over his knees, and burrowing in his upper thighs. His leg muscles start to shake and he can’t help but rut up into his hand.

“Now what?” Jensen prompts him.

Jared gulps, bites into his lips, and can’t imagine keeping his eyes open much longer. But still he breathes out through his mouth when he answers. “My thighs are getting tight and my stomach keeps clenching. My shoulder keeps twitching, like I can’t not fuck myself harder.”

“Keep going, Jay,” Jensen groans low. “I wanna know it all.”

“God, I just, it burns. But it feels good. I just wanna yank harder and longer. Fuck my own hand real fast.”

Jensen grunts and shifts on the mattress. His dick is so hard in his jeans it’s obscene and Jared only grips harder as he jerks himself off at a steady rate. Jensen’s voice is all gravel, shot to hell, when he asks, “Do you use lube?”

“Sometimes. When I wanna hear it,” he quietly replies. “I like hearing it sometimes. Then I pretend I’m really fucking someone.” Jared can feel his balls tighten up and he reaches further down to squeeze them. “God, this … I don’t wanna end it yet,” he lightly laughs. “My balls are, like, pounding in my hand.”

“Jared, just,” Jensen nearly whines. “Use your other hand, too. I wanna see you come.”

Jared tips his head back against the padded cabinet on his side of the room and whimpers at Jensen’s words. He licks a long strip down the length of his other palm and starts stroking all while he keeps squeezing at his balls, just a tiny little press of his hand. “This feels too good. Too good. Jensen, you have no clue,” he runs off at the mouth, now unable to stop himself. “My dick feels so hot and my hand even hotter. My balls are tight, it almost hurts. I just wanna squeeze hard on them both until I come, make it shoot out and show off,” he smiles with slight embarrassment. “Show off for you.”

Lifting an eyelid, Jared peeks at Jensen, but Jensen’s not looking at him, his eyes are locked on Jared’s hands on himself. Jensen’s chest is rising and falling so fast and he keeps licking over his lip, biting at it, flicking it out. All while he rubs his ass into the mattress with slow rolls of his hips.

Jared can’t stop watching Jensen slowly grinding on his bed. Until Jensen slightly tugs on Jared’s leg so his knee settles at the v of Jensen’s legs, pressing into Jensen’s dick and staying there. Jared pushes his leg forward, drawing a low moan from Jensen, and then Jared starts jerking himself off in earnest, trying so hard to finish this so he can focus more on Jensen’s dick instead.

“God, it’s burning, and tingling,” Jared murmurs. “And my balls are tight, too tight. And I just, fuck, Jensen, I want this to be your hand, I think about it all the time.”

“Jared, I promise I will,” Jensen whispers hotly. “Just keep talking.”

“I can feel it. My legs feel hard. They’re too heavy to even move,” he says, even though his thighs are lifting off the mattress to fuck into his hand. “It’s, God, I can feel, it’s like something licking down my back. And I can’t stop it once it starts … and fuck, it’s here, oh shit,” he whimpers with a long sigh and arches up off the bed. His fist goes impossibly fast and he grips tight on his balls as he comes. Pearls of white shoot up and out, painting his shirt and jeans both as he keeps jacking off, drawing it out as long as possible.

He slowly lowers himself down to the bed with his heart jackhammering in his chest. His ass just hits the mattress when Jensen moves forward. He straddles him and wraps arms around Jared’s neck when his mouth meets Jared’s, tongue plunging in and ravishing Jared’s mouth because Jared can’t bother to react to it. His brain is still shot, though he does at least cup his hands over Jensen’s ass as Jensen starts rutting against Jared’s lap.

Jensen’s mouth runs off, “That was so hot, Jared, you have no clue. I’m so fucking turned on by you, Jesus.”

“Hey, hey, hey, hang on,” Jared groans with the pain of Jensen’s denim-covered dick rubbing against him. He works through the haze of his orgasm to drag Jensen’s thick belt open and pull on all four buttons of his terrifyingly tight jeans. Jared tips his head back up to kiss Jensen, tongue still lazy but wrapping right around Jensen’s as Jensen fucks his way into Jared’s mouth. He pulls down on Jensen’s jeans and just as Jensen’s dick is free, Jensen groans against Jared’s lips.

Jensen runs his hands down Jared’s arms and pushes their palms together with their fingers slipping between each other and squeezes hard. He barely rocks in Jared’s lap, and he sucks at Jared’s lips between asking, “Tell me how it feels. How it felt to fuck your hand for me.”

Jared smiles against him. “I was scared, but I feel good now. Real good. I’m all fuzzy headed and boneless.”

Jensen sucks on Jared’s bottom lip, nibbling while clenching his fingers around Jared’s hands at a slow pace. “Tell me more,” he pleads as he rises to his knees. His hands keep tightening at Jared’s and it’s the same slow pace his hips roll so his dick rubs against Jared’s still-shirted chest. The angle for their heads is all wrong but Jensen still tucks his chin down to his chest to keep on kissing Jared, licking through his mouth, wet tongue rolling around Jared’s.

“I think I blacked out - or whited out,” he smirks into Jensen’s kiss. “My heart was racing and I thought I was gonna die. Then it was like euphoria, and my veins were all heated up. I can feel sweat everywhere.”

In due time, Jensen’s hips start rolling more steadily, even as his dick hardly touches Jared, just turns in thin air. And Jensen can’t use his tongue; he keeps his mouth open and pants into Jared’s mouth. “I’m gonna come from you. Just you saying all these things.”

Jared yanks his hands from Jensen’s and tugs Jensen’s jeans and boxers down lower. He palms Jensen’s ass and nods insistently. “I want you to come. Come for me, Jensen, do it for me, please.”

Jensen runs his hands through Jared’s hair, yanking to pull his head back so he can stare right at him as he stills his body and holds his breath, even as his abdomen clenches in and out. Then he grunts hard, shuddering forward but keeping his eyes on Jared as he spills onto Jared’s shirt.

With his eyes barely staying open, Jensen softly smiles and drops his head down against Jared’s cheek. “That was for you. Christ, that was so for you.”

“What did you feel?” Jared asks quietly.

Jensen kisses along Jared’s cheek and to the corner of his mouth. “Everything. Felt every fucking nerve on fire. Think it’s the best it’s ever been.”

Jared grins into Jensen’s kiss and tugs Jensen closer. As Jensen’s breath evens out, Jared starts making designs on how it can get even better. Next time.