This Long Silence: Part Eight

[dugindeep]

Previous

Another forty minutes, half of it backtracking to the Interstate, and they make the mall. Dread and anticipation war within as Jensen stares at a cargo truck turned on its side, and the front doors to the building are busted, glass shattered across asphalt. From where they’re stopped, Jensen can see a few bodies at the back of the cargo area and another one lying between it and the mall entrance.

The other four rush from their vehicles to inspect the scene, but Jensen can’t move. Even once it’s obvious the man on the ground is not Jared, but a uniformed man, Jensen fears finding Jared on the other side of that truck or inside the mall in much the same state.

Whichever way he’ll find Jared, he doesn’t have a good feeling about this. Too much time has passed.

J.D. and Samantha inspect the cargo truck, shaking heads as they go, and Jensen figures Jared’s not in sight. The scene scares him into thinking they’ll find Jared inside with no life left in him, and still he can’t leave the driver’s seat. He watches Danneel crouch down and press her hand to the soldier’s throat. Five seconds later, she glances up to Jason but doesn’t do anything else; the man is dead.

With J.D. and Samantha heading to the mall entrance and Jason staring back at him, Jensen finally gathers the nerve to exit the car. His legs are heavy and his feet drag like he’s treading through mud as he forces himself to follow them inside.

Their footsteps echo through the hallways and Jensen steadies his breathing so it’s not as loud or rough. His lungs go tight with fear and his palms are too sweaty to keep a good grip on his gun. He wipes his hands over his hips and thighs, alternating so he can keep the gun in hand.

Danneel brushes comfortingly over his back and whispers, “It’s okay.”

He can’t face her. He only nods and stops at the first storefront. Wick’s Sporting Goods seems empty even with its gate kicked in at the corner for someone to get inside. Jensen finds things upended near the gun counter at the back of the place. Bullet boxes have been ripped open with their contents scattered. The case to the left is shattered and Jensen counts two guys and three knives missing. Jensen can only pray it’s from untouched civilians trying to protect themselves.

Jason joins him with wide eyes and a long look. “What do you think …”

Jensen takes in the store again and logs a few hangers left empty on wall racks where t-shirts are on display, and he imagines people changing from damaged clothes. “Maybe someone turned in the truck and the others came through here.” He drags fingers at the edge of the display case. “They probably packed up to protect themselves.”

“Do you think Jared did, too? Maybe they’ll all safe and armed?”

I hope so, he thinks. Then he eyes the strewn bullets and wants to shake his head, but he can’t manage much of a reaction just yet. “Maybe he’d grab a knife.”

“That’s good, right?” Jason says, more like he’s trying to assure Jensen.

He counts silent seconds as he takes in the entirety of the store and the eerie emptiness to the mall. “It’s too quiet here,” Jensen mumbles.

“That’s probably a good sign.”

“It’s never a good sign.”

Jason gives him a tired look. “Samantha said there were three trucks in the caravan, and there’s only one outside,” he points out. “Sixty-six percent chance he’s still out there.”

“Yeah,” he says listlessly. He’s not sure if he’d prefer Jared in one of the other two, being carted off to God knows where for who knows what.

He and Jason grab a couple knives and two guns plus a handful of ammunition. Jensen hopes they don’t need any of it, but he’s not going to ignore the comfort of being armed.

The next few stores are undisturbed, having been abandoned years ago and never filled again. At Swifty Shoes, the front gate is destroyed at the floor, just like the sporting goods store. At the end of one aisle, two women – just out of high school it seems – are laid out on the floor, bodies twisted far too much to mean they’re still alive. There’s a shelving unit tossed against the wall and a pile of shoeboxes with their contents beneath it. Samantha whimpers and points at a hand at the edge of the mess. J.D. and Jason slip inside to check and Jensen creeps up behind them as they pull shoes, boots, and boxes away to unearth the body.

His stomach clenches when he recognizes the tan uniform and Morgan Falls badge, and then he spots the Off. Kelly nametag. Jensen groans as he crouches down to shove more debris away to see Kelly’s face.

The eyes are unnaturally wide and his lips bitten down to the inner flesh. Jensen cups Kelly’s face and runs his thumb along a raised vein in the man’s cheek leading down to his neck, which has been sliced open. Kelly had turned and someone tore at his throat to put him down. Jensen’s twenty-four-year-old officer was infected and now he’s dead. Along with the Deputy Jensen shot an hour ago.

He wonders how many others went down this same path: Sharon or Maggie, the Dunhams, any of the other families he’s known for his whole life.

“God damnit!” Jensen stands and walks back out to the main mall walkway.

Danneel reaches for him but he shakes her off as he marches to the next store that shows signs of any action in the last few days. Now he’s just intent to log who’s here and who isn’t so he they can leave and head further west for Jared.

He’s unsteady on his feet with rage and an overwhelming wave of exhaustion, but he can’t stop himself from looking through the drug store for anyone or anything. The snacks aisle is torn up. Bottles are broken on the ground, juice and pop spilled everywhere, and bags of chips scattered, but nothing else is out of the ordinary. The others are roaming the store, too, and they all share the same resigned look to finding the place empty.

There’s a soft whistle from the front of the store, a steady little beat that Jensen realizes is rough breathing. He waves at Jason and the two are on alert as J.D. pulls Danneel and Samantha back around a long shelf to hide near the back.

With slow, quiet footsteps, Jensen and Jason walk down the aisle with their, guns aimed straight ahead for anything to come at them. Long seconds drag until they reach the gate again and they see a man further in the main walkway, crouched by a potted plant. His red flannel’s torn across the back, jeans a mess of dirt and grime, and his bloodied fingers twitch as he crawls off to the right, moving further from the drug store. The low whistle is more like a wheeze and the man’s shoulders rise and fall with heavy, labored breathing. His attention is elsewhere as he keeps shuffling further away.

Jensen aims right at him and steps faster until there’s a ruckus at the end of the hallway: the last shop in the building. There’s the loud bang of the edge of the gate being kicked in and, in a flash, they can see someone sliding inside and another man rushing up to the gate, kicking at it and yanking up on the edge, and the metal frame rattles as he shakes it. The man in the red flannel races up to the gate and the two are snarling as they yank at the pieces that are bent up.

Jason tugs Jensen off towards a bench to hide by the plants where they’d initially caught sight of the first infected man. “Can you get ‘em from here?” Jason asks quietly.

Jensen’s heart is too loud for his ears. He can’t see either of these two men, just knows they’re large beasts who would likely snap their necks given a second’s chance. One could be Jared, and Jensen’s legs refuse to move and his mouth’s unable to form a reply. Just when he’s ready to nod, they hear heavy footfalls behind them, and when they spin there’s a flash of pink scrubs as Bethany jumps Jason.

The nurse’s assistant is normally a spry five-foot-two redhead who has a kind smile for anyone she treats, but now she’s a mess of blood and anger, growling as she attacks.

There’s a war of limbs as Jason forces Bethany’s hands away from him, her long fingers grabbing hold to scratch his forearms before Jensen get a good hold around her shoulders to yank her off Jason. Jensen’s quick to act with a tight arm around her neck despite the flare of pain in his side. His elbow locks around her as he reaches into the back of his uniform pants to grab the knife he’d gotten from the sports store, and with one quick movement, he slashes her throat open. He releases her once her body sags, shoving her away as he breathes heavy and stares at the lifeless, ragged body.

The two men from the end store come running at them. Jensen scrambles to his feet while Jason lifts his gun, shoots, and hits one in the shoulder a few times but it hardly slows either down. The one in the red flannel tackles Jensen, punching him clear across the cheek. Jensen twists in either direction to defend himself, and suddenly J.D. shouts for him to stay down and fires his shotgun with a pulse of pellets nailing the red chest. Jason fires at the other from just a few feet away and a quick round of bullets takes him out.

Jensen falls to his back, head tipping to the side and eyes shutting. He can’t calm his heart or his lungs, feeling panic rise up, even as he forces himself to turn over and shuffle up to his knees then feet.

“Are you okay?” J.D. asks worriedly, shotgun at his side and the other hand sliding over Jensen’s shoulder and chest to check for wounds.

Weary and lightheaded, he presses his palm to the sting on his cheek and barely nods. “Yeah,” he sighs. He looks to Jason and his friend seems relatively fine, all things considered. “You?”

Jason rubs at the scratches on his wrist and winces. “They’re just surface cuts,” Jason insists then nods as he turns to look around them. “That has to be it, right?”

“Sure do hope so,” J.D. replies.

Jensen looks down on Bethany and feels his chest clench at her lifeless body. If she’d turned, Jared could have, too, and he can’t breathe with that thought. He shoves it out of his mind and focuses on positive thoughts, insists that he has to find Jared healthy, and prays that he will. He’s at least hoping that if Bethany is here, then so is Jared.

This attack also reminds him that anything can happen at any time and they all need to stick together.

“Where’re the girls?” Jensen asks with sudden worry. He rushes to the drug store and is happy to see them huddled together at the end of the aisle J.D. had taken them to. “Hey, c’mon!” he shouts. “Stay with us.”

“You sure about that?” J.D. asks strangely.

Jensen looks over his shoulder with a wild look. “Are you crazy? You want to keep them locked up?”

“It’s about the safest plan we got.”

“We’re not leaving anyone, anywhere,” Jensen shouts.

“Yeah, and when one comes up from behind and grabs ‘em, what then?”” J.D. yells back.

Despite the way Jensen’s mind spins with the same panic overtaking his senses, everything that’s just happened triggers his fight mechanism, adrenaline fueling him and anger spiking quickly. “There were five outside, three in the shoe store, and three here! How many do you think they had in that van outside, huh?”

J.D.’s eyes go hard and he marches towards Jensen with a hand up. “Hey, you can calm down for a second.”

Jensen shoves at J.D.’s shoulder, hackles rising and voice getting harsh. “And you can shut up and listen to me for a minute!”

“I don’t give a shit that you wear a badge-”

Jensen starts shouting back but it’s Samantha who pushes between the two, shoving harder on J.D. and smacking his chest. “Cut it out! Both of you!”

With a rough sigh, Jensen turns away. He’s fully aware he’s losing it. His emotions are fired up and nerves frazzled with this last attack, not to mention the anger of still not finding Jared.

Danneel steps up to the group, and tries with a relatively firm voice. “Everyone has to calm down!”

“Great idea,” Jensen mumbles, and Jason punches his shoulder with a glare. He’s ready to swing right back but there’s something in Jason’s harsh look that makes him pause.

God, there’s not much fight left in him, in any of them. He can’t keep doing this.

Jensen lifts his hands up, palms out, as he steps back and away. But he turns back when he hears Danneel’s whimper, and he knows she’s looking at her coworker and friend. Jason immediately pulls her into a hug and hides her from the scene.

As Jason comforts Danneel, bringing her to the other side of the hallway so Bethany’s out of sight, J.D. and Samantha step closer to Jensen.

“We have got to get out of here,” J.D. insists. “If Bethany turned-”

“I’m not saying it again,” Jensen growls as he glares at J.D.

“Guys,” Sam interrupts. “We have to keep together, alright?”

Jensen sighs and looks away before giving her a chance.

“Okay,” she says, a bit easier, but still her voice is tense. “What about that store with the busted gate?”

She looks beyond concerned, eyes large and mouth bitten red with worry. Jensen tries to calm himself and replies, “The other two were going over there.”

“Someone slipped in there,” Jason reminds them from across the way.

“Maybe we wait for it come out,” Jensen tries, entirely unsure in the moment. He’s not up for chasing trouble, but there’s no way he’s comfortable to ignore what could be inside.

J.D. and Samantha head over to the store and Jason brings Danneel with, too.

Jensen runs to follow, but feels overwhelming pressure at his side and his knees buckle with it. He slows then sits on a bench outside the store and lets them search it. He’s overtaken with dizziness and pain, not to mention worn down and losing the will to keep himself together right now, to stop snapping at everyone. One store left in this place and there’s nothing left to go on.
“Jensen,” Sam calls.

“Yeah,” he replies without looking up.

“Get in here!” Jason shouts from within the store.

He rises and steps up to the gate; it’s been kicked in and tugged up only a foot or so, just enough for him to slide under. As he shuffles on his belly to get through the gate, Danneel calls out with an eagerness he hasn’t heard in days.

“It’s Jared!”

Christ Almighty.

His heart bursts with joy, and he scrambles to his feet and runs to the back of the store, ignoring the pain coursing through his body. He slides down to his knees as he shoulders Jason and J.D. out of the way to find Jared under a clothing rack that runs the whole back wall.

Jared’s leaning heavily against the wall and to the side. His shirt’s torn across the shoulder Hardy had gotten to, wounds ripped open again, and his eyebrow is split with blood drying at his temple. Jensen reaches beneath Jared’s shoulders and hauls him up, wrapping an arm around his neck as he pulls him to his lap.

“Jared, hey, c’mon, you awake?” he asks frantically.

Eyelashes flutter before Jared’s eyes flash through cracked eyelids.

“Jay, talk to me, c’mon,” Jensen demands with his voice breaking. He sweeps his hand over Jared’s cheek, pushing sweaty strands of hair off Jared’s forehead.

Jared’s eyelids close and his chest barely rises with shallow breathing. There’s life in there, sure, but this is nowhere near what Jensen needs to see, or know, of Jared.

His voice becomes desperate. His hold does, too, as he clutches at Jared. “Hey, it’s me. It’s Jensen. Don’t go out on me now. I fucking swear,” he pants out. “We’ve been looking for you all day.”

Jared’s lips part before a crooked smile lifts his face. “My hero.”

“Oh, God,” Jensen huffs out on a laugh. Jared’s breathing and talking and joking. Jensen folds himself over Jared and holds him tighter than before. “Thank God. You have no idea.”

Jared pats lamely at Jensen’s arm and mumbles, “I can’t breathe.”

Jensen backs away and presses his palm to Jared’s chest to feel a slow but steady beat and the gentle movement of his breathing. “What’s wrong?”

He shifts towards Jensen, head settling on Jensen’s thigh, and he lets out a long breath. “You’re smothering me,” he groans

Smoothing his hand over Jared’s face, he wipes the last of the damp blood at Jared’s brow, but he’s smiling at him, too. He’s looking right at Jared, and Jared’s looking right back. “But you’re good, aren’t you?”

“Am I dreaming?” he mumbles. “We’re alive?”

“No, not a dream. Not at all,” Jensen says. “You feel okay?”

“Yeah, just … tired. And … those two were coming.”

Jared’s voice is wrecked and he seems disoriented, but he’s speaking and moving, and Jensen’s heart punches inside his ribcage in exhilaration. “They’re gone. Don’t worry. You’re safe.”

With a few slow blinks, Jared focuses just over Jensen’s shoulder, and Jensen’s reminded they have company. He’s not sure he cares that the others are watching, though he knows a little bit matters; there’s still nagging worry about what his friends will say or think about this now. But he has Jared right here, and he can’t worry anymore.

“I’m the last?”

“Yeah. What happened?”

“Truck stopped off to pick up Brock and some others,” he whispers slowly. “But he went ...” Jared breaks off for a long breath before he can speak, and even then it’s with great effort. “I came in here, and I … I lost it.”

Jensen shushes him, hand gentle over his hair. “It’s okay. You’ll tell me later.” He looks over his shoulder to the others who are all staring with slight smiles, and Danneel and Jason share a quick look, seeming to question the entire moment. Jensen’s heart thumps at their wary look, but he has to move on from it. He can’t bother to consider explanations here. “Dan, go get some stuff at the drug store. Bandages and alcohol and whatever else. You gotta clean him up.”

She takes a quick look between Jensen and the group, and Jason speaks up. “You sure he’s alright?”

“Just go!” Jensen commands.

“Okay, okay,” she replies, nodding and pulling Jason with her before anyone else can argue. There are a few loud screeches as Jason shoves at the gate to lift it just a few more feet so they only have to duck under, and then they’re out of sight.

Samantha tugs on J.D.’s hand. “Let’s get some blankets and food,” she murmurs as she steps away.

Jensen turns back to Jared, thankful everyone’s spurred to action. Mostly, he’s grateful they’re giving him and Jared space. Except, he panics when Jared goes heavy in his arms. He tugs at Jared’s shirt and sees the wounds aren’t a major threat. He’s lost some blood with a fresh cut, but Jensen’s sure Jared will be okay for now. Jensen prods Jared’s good arm and brushes his hand over Jared’s face. “Hey, you still with me?”

“Yeah,” Jared whispers. Then he tugs at the edge of Jensen’s tee where old blood has gone brown. “What happened?”

“Just a little cut. I’m good,” he replies. He feels incredibly good having Jared here in his arms. He inventories Jared’s body and is beyond happy that there are no other signs of injury.

It takes a grave amount of strength to ask, but he has to.

“Jared, did they get at you again?” Jared makes a tiny noise, and Jensen thumbs at Jared’s collarbone, just beside the tear at his skin. “Your shoulder’s messed up again. Are you sure nothing happened?”

He blindly reaches for the hand Jensen has at his shoulder and his fingers lightly squeezed at Jensen’s wrist. “Caught it on the gate.”

“But otherwise, you’re safe, right?”

Slowly, Jared’s head bobs in a stilted nod, and Jensen breathes easy for the first time in far too many hours to count.

“Can we stop talking for now?” he mumbles. “Just, let me sleep or something?”

Danneel and Jason’s voices grow louder as they return, and Jensen smiles at Jared, fingers coasting over Jared’s cheek as he feels his eyes burn with fresh tears. “Of course. Dan’ll patch you up and then we’ll sleep as long you want.”

Jared barely smiles, but Jensen’s more than satisfied with the sight.

When she nears them, Jensen carefully lets Jared down to the floor and he steps up to his friends. “He’s fine,” he says quietly. “He just tore up his shoulder when he came in here.”

Danneel looks beyond him and bites at her lower lip. “Are you sure?”

“He says so, and that’s it,” Jensen insists. He levels a hard look at both Jason and Danneel. “Conversation’s over.” It’s tense between them until Danneel adjusts the few medical items in her hands and gives a brief nod. “Now,” he says softly, voice cracking. “Can you take care of him? Please?”

“I’m sorry,” she murmurs. “Of course.” She moves around to Jared, kneels next to him, and spreads everything at her side to tend to his wounds.

Jensen scrubs his palms over his face and turns away from her at work, resolutely ignoring Jason’s questioning glances. He leans against a nearby clothing rack, shoulders hunched with his elbows resting at the top and his head tipped down. Finally, he feels his body relax as he lets out shaky breaths and sets his head down to his wrists. All these hours on the run and he has Jared back.

When Danneel’s done, she agrees with Jensen that Jared’s not too bad off, and they all concede to rest. J.D. adds drinks and packaged food to a small stock of items Jared had apparently packed into a backpack that he’d carried with him into the store, and Samantha hands over a flannel blanket she’d grabbed at the sports store.

In minutes, they’re left alone and Jensen slides down the wall to rest with Jared. He leans into Jared then drags a hand over his back, encouraging Jared to turn towards him.

When they’re settled, Jensen tips his head against the wall. He closes his eyes with a small, grateful smile, and falls asleep.




Once school starts, Jared isn’t around. Jensen doesn’t blame him. Jared has a job that keeps him busy. Also, they’re just neighbors, acquaintances. Who sometimes flirt, Jensen thinks. He’s still not sure about it all.

He is well aware of their awkward pauses and false starts to conversations that could go awry, except one of them tends to look away and the other changes the subject. In the six months since Jared moved in, they’ve had their share of smiles that make Jensen’s stomach turn. They make him think there’s something else. But he can’t investigate this. He has to remain impartial, treat Jared like any other resident, and pretend he’s not in love with him. Easier said than done, of course.

A week before Christmas, Jared invites him over for dinner, insisting he has a few steaks still left in his freezer, ones he never had a chance to grill. Jared claims he doesn’t want them to burn with the frost, and they should finish them off to help clear out the ice box.

On a whim, Jensen wears a soft, fitted sweater and unearths a bottle of Johnnie Walker Chris had given him for his thirtieth, but has remained unopened for four years. He’s not intending to make this more than it could possibly be, but the effort lifts his confidence in general.

It’s cold outside, jacket weather, but Jensen jogs across their yards without one, hurrying through the chill. On the short path, he can smell meat grilling and he laughs to himself over Jared cooking outside this time of year. He hops up the front stairs, bypassing ones that are still creaky and stepping over the hole Jared had put in it the day they met, but has yet to repair. He knocks, but no one answers so he lets himself in when he’s left on the porch unanswered.

“Hello? Jared?” he calls from the foyer. The front half of the house is dark, but there are slivers thrown around from the back rooms, and Jensen follows them and the buttery scent wafting through the air.

When he hits the kitchen, a slight, musty smell fills the room and he coughs into his elbow. He can’t hold the disgust for long, though, because Jared turns from the stove and smiles with a nod. “Hey, I didn’t hear you come in.”

“I let myself in,” he replies, distracted by the scene at the stovetop. Jared’s melting gorgonzola cheese in a shallow pan with pads of butter liquefying with it. Dear Lord, he whimpers to himself. It’s all so decadent, more than just a steak and potato. “After I knocked,” he adds with a smirk. “That looks good.”

“Thank you,” Jared returns warmly as Jensen joins him at the stove. “Just trying to dress the steaks right,” he smiles and nods a little.

With that movement, strands of hair slip from behind his ear and Jensen wants to tuck them back, but he can’t manage to do it. And he yearns to touch the smooth sweater Jared’s wearing in place of a typical cotton tee or button-up. He has to hold himself back if Jared isn’t considering this evening as more than just neighbors sharing unused food, even when he knows he’ll go crazy with the possibility hanging out there to be had.

Jensen leans back on the counter and looks across the kitchen. When last he was here – helping Jared with his TV, and falling asleep on his couch quite a few months ago – the room was dank and mismatched. Now, it’s adorned in shades of moss and navy, a nice match for the warm wood flooring and the new butcher block table in the center of the room.

Jensen steps forward and sets his palm to the surface, unable to help the smile on his face. “You actually did it,” he murmurs. “I thought you were kidding when you said you’d build your own table.”

Jared appears beside him, placing a warming pad and the skillet on the table, cheese bubbling and Jensen’s mouth watering. It’s such a simple addition to the dinner that he can’t wait to taste. “Just because I didn’t finish the porch, doesn’t mean I fail at everything.”

He can’t return much more than a soft chuckle because there’s an earthy smell to Jared now overtaking his senses. He doesn’t look up from the table; he has to focus on something not Jared.

Through dinner, they sip the whiskey with grace and drink water in between, keeping their pallets clean to fully appreciate the flavor of the steaks topped with the gorgonzola and bacon sprinkled over baked potatoes. They talk and laugh, Jensen more than ever before. He feels warm and light with the liquor and Jared, his kitchen and everything about this moment.

Jared refills both their glasses of whiskey and clears his throat with a crooked smile that’s infectious and makes Jensen smile in return. “I kind of have some bad news.”

Jensen shifts and nods with a soft, “Alright. What’s up?”

“There’s no dessert,” Jared says with some disappointment.

He’s ready to laugh at Jared, but when he looks at him – really considers him just around the corner of the table – it hits him that throughout the evening, they’ve been sliding closer to one another. Through all their easy talk, they’ve been leaning towards each other and he has the instinct to move back. But Jared’s not budging; he’s settled easy at the table with his elbow pointed at Jensen’s, just inches away.

“No, that’s okay,” Jensen finally replies. “I mean, you built your kitchen and properly grilled a steak. There’s only so much you can do,” he muses. “I get it.”

Jared breathes out a laugh and licks his lower lip as though he feels the jab, but he seems amused by it. “It’s like you really know me,” he jokes back. “All my skills and the weak spots.”

There’s a long pause as they stare at one another, air going dry. Jared’s his weak spot, and he wonders if Jared knows it.

His mouth, too, goes dry when Jared slants himself to face Jensen and slides forward. Jared shifts only a few inches more, but Jensen tilts his chin up on instinct and parts his lips to breathe. Jared’s mouth opens on a tiny smile and he pushes up on his forearms to press a quiet kiss to Jensen’s lips.

As soon as Jared slips back, Jensen rises and leans forward to capture Jared’s lips again. He tilts his head and closes his hand around Jared’s forearm to keep him in place. Their mouths slide together with wet lips and intent tongues as they quicken the kiss, and Jensen can feel his pulse hammer as all these feelings, six months’ worth of emotions, slam his brain and beg for more.

He’s kissing Jared, and Jared’s kissing him right back with soft noises in his throat that speak volumes for the moment. Even as Jensen’s been a part of every scene that’s led them here, his heart is beating wildly with the excitement that Jared wants this just as much. He can’t imagine never doing this again and he reaches out for Jared’s neck, softly holding and pulling him in.

Jensen rises off his seat to get even closer, and Jared moves with him. When they’re standing, Jared leans into Jensen and forces him into the edge of the table. His hand holds Jensen’s jaw and the other tightens at his hip, and Jensen wraps his fingers into the back of Jared’s sweater, thrilled at the smooth fabric under his hands. It’s downright exhilarating to feel the heat beneath it and the lines of Jared’s back.

Suddenly, Jared pulls off, mumbling, “Hang on a minute.”

Jensen breathes heavily and his heart stalls in anxiety for having to stop kissing Jared. His eyes go wide while he waits for the next move.

It comes in Jared touching the side of Jensen’s neck and a tiny curl of his lips as his eyes go soft. His thumb strokes Jensen’s throat and he practically massages his neck with the flat of his palm, sliding up and down as he keeps looking at Jensen like he’s mesmerized. Jensen knows the feeling, and he’s sure he’s looking at Jared much the same.

“A good country boy like you should be kissed properly,” Jared murmurs.

There is nothing in this world Jensen would rather have done to him. “Then do it,” he whispers.

Jared frames Jensen’s face with delicate hands and his thumbs padding over Jensen’s jaw. The heels of his hands rub across the column of Jensen’s throat, and Jensen can’t decide if he wants Jared to do this all night or push for more.

The way Jared’s movements drag on, Jensen’s fingers twitch in Jared’s sweater with his impatience driving him mad. Jensen runs his hands over Jared’s ribs and closes them around his sides. He tips his head up again, all for Jared to take.

With a tiny smirk, Jared nudges his nose into Jensen’s with a soft puff of air wafting over Jensen’s face before he sinks down into Jensen with a wet slide of lips. It’s a smooth, slick movement that alternates pressure with a light sucking motion until he slips his tongue inside. Even as the kiss deepens, it stays sluggish, filling Jensen with even more delirious impatience. He runs his hands down Jared’s hips and to his back, fingers pressing tight to feel every flexing muscle as Jared shifts and presses his body to Jensen’s.

It goes on forever. At least Jensen swears it does, and he can't mind that one bit.

Pulling off but keeping close with tiny nips, Jared hoarsely mumbles. “I confess I’ve been wanting to do that for a long while.”

Jensen makes a soft humming noise in agreement, and Jared smirks again.

He slides his nose alongside Jensen’s, eyes dropping down Jensen’s face. “Thought about it a lot before,” he says quietly.

“Yeah,” Jensen replies breathily.

Jared smiles. “You are so very eloquent.”

“Yeah,” he repeats, smiling along with Jared. His pulse races for entirely different reasons now: excitement, euphoria, lust. “I confess that I’ve wanted you to do that for even longer. Probably, I think.”

“The day we met? When you mowed your lawn?” Jared asks. “Because that’s when I wanted to.”

Jensen brings Jared back in and murmurs at his lips. “When you fell through your porch.”

Jared laughs, a warm stream of air that smells like the oaky liquor they’ve been drinking and something more like Jared filling Jensen’s mouth just before they kiss again.

He thinks it’s the best thing he’s ever experienced.

Jensen alters that opinion when Jared leans in further, forcing Jensen back against the table, and Jensen can feel the hard shape in Jared’s jeans, and it’s then that Jensen acknowledges the pressure swelling in his own pants. He grabs at Jared’s lower back and tugs at the waist of Jared’s jeans to pull him in tight. Jared lets out a tiny moan that reverberates through Jensen’s mouth, and Jensen’s mind spins with it. His chest goes tight and his hands even tighter then he loosens his grip and thinks better of this right here.

He nudges Jared back a few inches, no matter how much he never wants to let go. “Maybe we shouldn’t do this now.”

Jared’s eyes are dazed and unfocused as he looks across Jensen’s face. “I, I’m sorry,” he mumbles with a confused glance away.

“Just, you know, out of respect for your table.” When Jared’s eyes meet his, he smirks. “It’s a damn fine table.”

Jared laughs and kisses the edge of Jensen’s chin, along his jaw, and up to his ear. His hand slides over Jensen’s other cheek and down to his neck. His fingers drag at the short edges of Jensen’s hair as he whispers, “Will you come upstairs?”

Truthful and aroused, Jensen murmurs, “I thought you’d never ask.”




Jensen wakes with an unbearable stiffness in his back, neck, and legs. He can only shift so far with Jared still against him, but he considers it better than the alternative. With his slight movements, he disrupts Jared, who turns to his good shoulder, arm sliding along Jensen’s side and mumbling incoherently. Jensen leans in and wraps his arms around Jared, enclosing him as entirely as possible.

“Everything okay?” he whispers Jared’s hair.

Jared’s fingers wind in Jensen’s shirt as he tucks his head against Jensen’s chest. “Is there anything to drink?”

“Yeah, of course,” Jensen answers with a smile as he turns away to grab a bottle of cranberry juice. Jared’s voice sounds more aware than before and, while he’s moving sluggishly, at least he’s got some strength in him. Jensen feels stronger, too; the rest has been good for them both. Together they hold the bottle up as Jared sips slowly then starts to drink more steadily. Jensen rubs between Jared’s shoulders, happy to see the effort Jared’s making. “Are you hungry?”

“When am I not?”

Jensen laughs and kisses the top of Jared’s head, keeping his face buried in his hair. “I am so glad I found you.”

“At the mall, no less,” Jared mumbles. “You’re so cliché.”

Another soft laugh and Jensen squeezes before sliding out from under Jared to grab a package of saltines just out of reach. He stretches, grabs another blanket Samantha left for them, and folds it so he and Jared can sit on it. Jensen stays close but is mindful of Jared’s shoulder and the bandages. They share the crackers and drink more juice as Jensen quietly asks Jared what all happened since they’d been forced apart.

“They were testing people. Maybe a dozen of us were still there when they moved. A few went … off,” he says oddly with his brow furrowed. His sight is set clear across the room, staring at nothing, but he does continue. “Some went one way … others in one truck, and some of us were in the one that came here. It was all a mess over there. A few guys seemed antsy with their guns and didn’t really know what else to do, I guess.”

When Jared looks down to the bottle in his lap and goes quiet, Jensen tucks hair behind Jared’s ear and rests his hand at the back of his neck. “Did they say what they were doing or where they were going?”

“Somewhere north. I don’t know.” Jared finally meets Jensen’s gaze, eyelids barely open around dull eyes. “They seemed to understand what was going on, though. Like, why and where, and they weren’t coming back.”

“What do you mean?” Jensen asks with a firm voice before softening to Jared’s worried look. “They knew it was happening before they came?”

Jared lifts his good shoulder and frowns. “That’s what I got from a few things they’d said.”

“Like what?”

His eyes skate away and he shakes his head. “Like clearing the town when it was done.”

Jensen’s mind reels at the possibility of the whole situation; he can’t handle the implications of such a thing.

Reaching with his good arm, Jared points at the pile of snacks across from Jensen. “Can I have another bottle?”

“Definitely,” he replies immediately. He grabs a few bottles and keeps them in his lap for Jared to take whenever he wants. Jensen has no intentions of moving from this spot until Jared’s full and ready, with energy up to task.

After downing half of the second bottle of juice, Jared takes a deep breath. He pulls his knees up and seems to have a bit more life to him as he looks at Jensen with tired eyes, but they’re brighter than before.

“What happened?” Jared asks quietly. His fingers are picking around the dried bloodstain on Jensen’s undershirt but never quite touch it.

Jensen covers Jared’s hand to stop him, but also so he can touch him and feel the warmth of Jared. Their fingers twine and Jensen keeps his eyes on the way Jared’s fingers fold over the back of his hand. “We had a run in at Bub’s.”

“With what?”

He considers Jared and can’t imagine adding more horror to all that they’ve already experienced. But he also wonders at what point does he deal with what he’s been forced to do. “A shelving unit. And Jake.”

“Jake Abel?” Jared asks, and Jensen looks away. “Jen, what happened?”

“He came at me.”

“And then what?”

“Danneel cleaned it up, we found Sam, and then we came here,” he replies with more strength in his voice. He’ll save the full conversation for a better day, when they’re not cooped up in the county mall and in need of a great escape. He squeezes Jared’s hand and can feel his face tighten with the want to smile. “And we’re here now.”

Jared’s face changes over from skeptical and worried to a smooth mask of acceptance. He softly smiles. “I can’t believe you found me.”

“You don’t know the half of it.” Jensen pats at Jared’s thigh then slides his hand over the side and under to pull Jared’s leg against his own, desperate for the feel of them close together.

“Hey, guys,” Danneel calls out as she walks towards them, with more medical supplies clutched in her arms. She looks worn out with disheveled clothes and her hair pulled back in an unruly bun.

Jensen’s reminded they’ve all been through hell. Peace can’t come soon enough.

She smiles at them both as she places everything on the floor. “How’re you doing, Jared?”

As she crouches next to them, Jensen slides his hand away and watches Jared answer, “Better than when you found me.”

“That’s really great.” She looks at Jensen with hopeful eyes. “So we’re all good?”

“Yeah,” Jensen nods immediately. “We’re all fine.” He glances down to a bottle in her hands. “What’s that?”

She hands Jared the red prescription canister. “I found some painkillers in the pharmacy.”

“Thank you,” Jared replies kindly. “This is … thanks,” finishes with a lump in his throat.

“You’re welcome,” Danneel insists.

Jared nods in reply, fingers coasting over the bottle; Jensen’s sure everything’s finally catching up to him, this last day of terror and isolation.

“I can’t believe you guys slept on the floor,” Jason laughs as he nears them. He drops a boxed air mattress at his feet and shakes his head. “All night. You two are crazy.”

“All night?” Jensen asks. He’s suddenly unsettled without natural light or knowing the time. “Where’d you guys stay?”

Jason motions back towards the rest of the mall. “We checked the whole place and took care of everything out there. Then we camped out. J.D. and Sam in one tent, us in another.”

Jensen lifts an eyebrow as he looks at Jason and Danneel, but he can’t comment on it with Danneel moving to her knees and giving Jared a pleading look. “Can I change your bandages?” she asks him. “Make sure they’re all clean and good?”

Jared shifts to sit up straight. “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”

Between the clothing racks surrounding them and Jason unrolling the mattress to inflate, there isn’t much room for everyone. Jensen spins over to his knees then up to his feet to stand, stretching to crack joints and loosen muscles, but he still winces with a dull pain in his side. At least it’s easing up.

“I’m gonna step outside to get some kinks out of my legs,” Jensen says with his eyes right on Jared. “You okay for a few minutes?”

Jared glances at Danneel, Jason, and then Jensen. “Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

Jason turns to Jensen. “J.D. and Samantha are going around for clothes if you need anything.”

Jensen nods and smiles then he glances at Jared, their eyes locking in. “I’ll be right outside,” he insists, and Jared gently smiles in return. Jensen hardly cares how it sounds to his friends; he’s saying it for Jared.

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