J2 | Let's Talk About Sext
Oct. 6th, 2020 08:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Pairing: J2
Words: 1100
Summary: Let's talk about all the good emojis and the bad emojis that may be
Notes: Written for the bestest cuch ever
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This is written entirely in text form and features lovely art from the bestest Chicago gal I know -
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Read on AO3
Jared
I you a ?
Jensen
You what??
Jared
I you a ?
Get it? LOLOLOLOL
Jensen
No. I don’t get it
Jared = moustache!
I moustache you a ?
Jensen
Okay. Moustache me a question.
Jared
No that’s now how it works
How do you not know how this works????
It’s good you're so cute
26 minutes pass.
Jared does not count.
But.
He does panic.
Jared
Am I -ing you
Jensen
Flying me?
Jared
Oh fat thumbs
I mean
Jensen
Bug?
Jared
Yeah lol
Am I -ing you?
Or you working again?
Jensen
No I’m done for the night. Mom called…trouble with her iPad so it took some time.
What’s up? What’s the bug for?
Jared
Wondering if you’re into
Jensen
Am I…Is that a threesome?
Jared
No!!!!
It’s an elevator
Jensen
Wait…why would I be into elevators?
I think I’d rather it was a threesome.
Jared
You beautiful idiot
Jensen
Why am *I* the idiot? You’re the one asking about elevators.
Jared
At least I said you’re beautiful?
Jensen
Whatever…what’s up with the elevator?
Jared
You ok with elevators or are you claustrophobic? Or afraid of heights or not into tall buildings or just not at all entertained by seeing big cities from way up high???
Not super important anyway
You can ignore me
*fart noises*
Jensen
Yeah I guess so? What were you thinking?
Jared
Sears Tower for Saturday or is that lame?
It’s laaaaaame
Jensen
Not lame…haven’t been in ages. Sounds cool.
Jared
And dinner after …… my treat.
I know a good place
Jensen
Hey if you’re treating…not going to complain.
Jared
It’ll be
Jensen
Is that…a fist?
Jared
Lololololol you think I wanna fist you at the restaurant???
Jensen
What else am I supposed to think with that symbol??
Jared










Jensen
Shut up.
Jared
I mean I really would love to do that but ………
We’d probably get kicked out!!!!!
Maybe we should try anyway
Jensen
Siiiiiiigh.
What did that emoji mean anyway??
Jared
LOL it’s a chef’s kiss …. Like:
Jensen
Alright. If you insist.
Jared
I totally insist.
Tho I know you like to eat healthy so maybe we’ll get you some beforehand
Jensen
You’re gonna get me blue balls beforehand??
Jared
No! I meant fruit! Like a snack!
You really thirsty lately eh?
Jensen
WTFFFFF
Jared
What?
Jensen
WTF are these emojis now????? Beaver and wood?? And you say I’m thirsty????
Jared
Like damn
Jensen
IT STILL DOESN’T MAKE SENSE
Jared
Gosh do I have to explain everything to you?
Jensen
It’s amazing you’re a teacher…that you mold the future of our world.
Jared = BEAVER
= DAM
Like a beaver and his dam
So dammmmmmmmmmmn
Jensen
Now I think YOU’RE the beautiful idiot here.
Jared
You think I’m beautiful
Jensen
Yeah yeah yeah…Where are you getting all these emojis anyway?
Jared
It’s in the new iOS.
Or you too to update?
Jensen
Am I too Santa???
Jared
It’s like a grandpa.
You====grandpa
Jensen
Jared
Jared
That’s my name
Don’t wear it out
Jensen
It’s a man.
With glasses.
And a Santa hat.
IT’S SANTA
Jared

Jensen
Oh boy. Here we go.
Jared was the closest thing to old.
Jensen
What about
Jared
I’m trying to expand my horizons????
And you think you can beat my emoji game????
But also holy ! You just used an emoji!
Jensen
Holy rock?
Jared
No not a rock.
It’s shit.
Jensen
That is not shit.
Jared
It kinda looks like shit.
Jensen
If your shit is that color then you’ve got problems.
Jared
Shut up you know what I meant.
Jensen
You should see a doctor.
Jared
Shut up
Jensen
Medical help is critical here.
Jared
Shuuuuuuuuuuuut
Jensen
If you won’t help yourself...I’ll have to come over there myself and take care of the problem.
Jared
Uuuuuuuupppppppppp
Jensen
But not literally. Because shit is just too damn personal for anyone.
Jared to you
Jensen
Accordion to anyone ;)
Jared
You finally figured one out all on your own!
Jensen

Jared
OH GOSH
YOU USED YODA you
9 minutes and 37 seconds pass.
Jared definitely counts.
And he definitely panics.
Again.
Jensen
Olive me?
Jared
… yeah?
Is that okay?
It’s not okay is it?
I said it too soon
Okay I’m gonna go drown myself in the tub
Jensen
OH!!!!!!!!!
Jared
And then maybe drop a toaster in with me
Jensen
No no no no I get it now.
I had to say it out loud.
Jared
No it’s fine
Forget it
Jensen
It’s totally okay…Just maybe not easy to say in texts??
Jared
Yeah totally. Makes sense. Forget that emoji forever.
Jensen
Well…I guess…
Jared
Just pretend I’m not here anymore
I’m a . You can’t see me.
I was never here.
Jensen
I can’t see you anyway because you’re not here. But you could come over…say it in person…
5 minutes pass.
Jared pumps his fists and dances around his living room.
Then takes a very deep breath and is super totally cool about everything.
Jared
Maybe we can
Jensen
You want to…film it?
Jared
Noooooooo ……
I meant a movie
We could watch a movie
If it’s not too late?
Jensen
Oh. Yeah. Of course we can. Not too late.
Jared
And maybe after the we can
Jensen
Yeah we can hug
Jared
Ohhhhh you got the new emojis lololol
It's not a hug. It's sexy stuff.
Jensen


Jared
I’m not even that annoyed you’re mocking me.
Jensen
Yeah right.
Just be glad I finally updated emojis for you.
Jared
Totally solid life choices you’re making here.
Jensen
I thought so.
Jared
I approve.
Jensen
Good to know.
Anyway...so and some
...
Jared
And maybe after the and then
... we can
Jensen

Jared
What is that?
Jensen
It’s my seal of approval! DUH!
Jared
God you.
Jensen

Jared
That’s a pretty graphic heart right there.
Jensen
Too much?
Jared
No it’s
Jensen
Thought I’d finally take the
Jared
You thought you’d take the plunger? Should I check my bathroom …
Jensen
Well … the plunge(r) okay???
Jared


Jensen
You’re bringing fondue?
Jared
No I meant that you’re so cheesy.
Sometimes
When you let yourself be
Jensen
The longer we text the longer we wait for ...
Jared right
I’m getting ready as I type
Can’t wait to
Jensen
Don’t forget to bring
Jared
Don’t forget my hats?
Jensen
GOD
Jared
You rang?
Jensen
PROTECTION.
Those are for your
Jared
Ahhhhhhh
Hahhhhhhhhh
Yeah
Gotcha
Jensen
But again…the more we text about it, the less we’re doing it...
Jared
Alrighty heading to the . Gonna get some
(yes that many) and I’m gonna
your
and
my
in your
……too much?
Jensen
Like to my ears
Jared
A wand to your ears?
Jensen
MAGIC. IT’S MAGIC TO MY EARS.
Jared
Is that a thing???
Isn’t the saying “music to my ears”???
Jensen
God you’re a
Jared
I’m a pie????
Jensen
I thought it was a pita...it looks like a pita!
Jared
So I’m a pita????
Jensen
Yeah a Pain In The Ass = P I T A
Jared
I’m definitely gonna make your ass feel pain
Jensen

Jared
U want blueberries too?
Jensen
No but I’ll have blue balls if you don’t get here soon.
Jared

Jensen

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